You know that "butterflies in your stomach" thing is totally right, well I had my tummy cramping up from excitement. I was wearing my lucky charms thinking what if it all goes wrong, I was being superstitious, what the hell i was thinking..
It was a nice day, I got on my Kawasaki, again, because thats one of my lucky charms, wearing my lucky jacket to go meet this new person I once saw on Instagram, accidentally..
I was so scared my anxiety kicked in and i was thinking what the fuck is wrong with me. Last time I went to a crowded place was barely filled with 10 people and I was so anxious to get outta there..
I was doing 70 thinking I might get late, my instructor told me I have to be on time, do things on time and by the time you done you will be rewarded with more time to do many things, guess what, I was late..
I went inside a fast food restaurant after hell of a time, I was cutting carbs and sodas for almost six months to gain that princes charming appearance so I can be smooth as fat-free butter that slides across the pan when you make that irresistible pancake which fills not just your tummy..
To be honest I'm left with blank inside my head about this memory because my anxiety ate that part of my brain and only thing I can remember is me climbing to the next floor and I see people staring at me and my brain is saying its still not late to run to my bike and run away from this stressful situation and then I saw her..
Those scintillating eyes, I felt like I found a gem in middle of the ocean full of rocks. They were giving me confused vibes and I felt chills down my spin, I could count how many vertebrae I have and all 33 was making me stand up like I swallowed a baseball bat..
And then she opened her mouth, I got lost, I wanted to try Google maps but I don't want to look away from those cute eyes and sparkling sound she's making, from talking to that cute smile she got, to all the gestures she did, I was clearly lost on her..
I felt I wanna eat something and I asked her, she said anything and I was confused, all my life I had plans and a checklist to go by, this is spontaneous and its kinda killing me on the spot, I kindly told her I can offer money so she can grab us both something, stupid me. Yeah crowded places made me go haywire and I was so stupid to tell my anxiety is making me look crazy, fear not, go downstairs and order something, I always tends to eat something healthy and first thing I saw was a salad..
I got two and sodas, yes diet soda for me, yes I know sugar makes me bit gassy and I don't want to compromise that evening with a such a nice lady saying I gotta use the restroom every few minutes..
I asked her, yes questions, I can't remember much because I was lost again, those are some god damn cute eyes she got, she still don't know whats wrong with me..
She offered me her pebble hand band and I got scared because I never taken anything from anyone and it was the first time someone offered me something, stupid me forgot flowers, chocolates or anything I could get my hands on, on top of that, SALADS!
It was bloody nice moment and she had to leave, we came downstairs and guess what, she gave me a hug and I was over the moon and to add that, why you look like you saw a monster? She asked and I was like oh hell naaw its just me being me..
I was craving for more, I totally forgot about my shit and I started listening to my heart not my brain, "let's go lad, let's see shes getting to the bus" I was listening to that tender feeling my heart is pumping throughout the whole body..
I guess I found my real lucky charm..
